Friday, August 1, 2008


I don't know what's up with me lately, but it seems like I spend more time crying than anything else. I've heard that having too much anesthetic can make you do that (and there's a good chance that that's happened over the past few years), but this has been a sudden outburst of flowing tears over anything and everything.

Last week, I was very upset about Randy Pausch dying, and spent much of Friday and Saturday in tears over that. Sunday was a lousy day for me, just on the general principles of a household of three males and one female. (Lesson learned: expect NOTHING no matter what, then anything will be a thrill.) Monday I was all worked up because I began to think about Oliver and wondered if we have inhibited his life by making him an indoor cat. What are we trying to do to him by taking him out of his natural environment and keeping him in the house?? And then Tuesday night, I watched Primetime Live on ABC, an episode devoted to Randy Pausch, and sat there sobbing through the last 15 minutes.

Now, of course, I'm quickly approaching the end of summer vacation, and I just can't believe that I didn't get everything done this summer that I planned to get done. I have about two weeks left to do tons of stuff, and it just isn't going to happen. So now I'm dealing with these feelings of inadequacy, and that again brings on the tears.

I'm not even going to mention "the age" I hit last week. That would probably be worth half a box of tissues all by itself.

I know, I know...time to put on my big girl panties and deal with it, right?


Jen said...

No, I think you are allowed to take a couple of weeks to cry for no reason.

And I vote keep Oliver in the house. Inside cats do much better and are healthier and happier than outside cats.

edbteach said...

Cindi - I know exactly how you feel. I worked summer school until July 3 and haven't done much since! I always plan to get lots of cleaning/organizing done each summer/school break and then I never do. When I am on break I feel like relaxing - which to me, is what the break is for!

Don't worry about the tears.

I think a teacher's life is difficult. I even wrote about it on my blog - working full time and then not working at all. Too many transitions!

Terre said...

Wow Cindi! Let's just ride the perimenopause train together. I get like that... all teary... but they are only pity me tears,I wish I did have tears for other people sometimes. But Cindi all these things you wanted to get done...were they something that is going to shorten your life or things that would just make life a little more convenient and could actually wait indefinetly? Choose your priorities girlfriend and take a deep breath. I would much rather face going back to school with a few things undone than to be dealing with what I'm up against Aug. 20. Count your blessings Cindi and just enjoy the sun and the pool while you can. Love you, Ter

LisaJane said...

Hi....add me to the list of women who are right there with you. I've got a few more years past the big one than you but, I teach and it's August and ... shit.! ;) I too, cry at the drop of a hat, and I can't sleep. CMU is right down the road from me and the Randy Pausch story was indeed heartbreaking. I, too cried my eyes out on Tuesday night. I plan to use his "proper apology" lesson in class and will have it posted on my wall this year.
Anyway... I hope things even out for you. :)

Paulie said...

You can cry if you want to. . . and the part about going back to school "so soon" . . . just remember you have a job to go to. I was kinda forced to retire early. I miss teaching.