Monday, October 22, 2007

Making Choices

Okay, this has been grating on me for a while now.

I follow several blogs on a daily basis. On one of the blogs there is a woman who has struggled with infertility for several years. After one miscarriage and a couple cycles of injections and constant monitoring, she is now about 16 weeks pregnant.

This is wonderful news and I'm very happy for her and her husband.

In early to mid August they discovered that she was carrying triplets.

Shortly thereafter she began to discuss a possible reduction in her blog. She mentioned it on and off for a few weeks and then mentioned her fears in regards to carrying triplets. She was concerned about premature birth, possible future health issues, and the financial impact.

She kept up with the talk about reduction until she finally made up her mind. Apparently reductions should be done around the 12th week. She posted on her blog that they decided to reduce the pregnancy.

This really upset me for some reason. I stopped commenting on her blog when she made this decision. I just had too many questions. How do you decide to reduce? How do you decide how many to reduce to? How is a choice made as to which one is going to be destroyed?

Now before any of you go off on me, I've had no problems getting pregnant. However, I had four miscarriages and that was extremely traumatic for both of us. It was probably a little more traumatic for me, because I not only dealt with the emotional aspect, but the physical aspect as well, and it was definitely NOT FUN.

Anyway, this woman shared that they decided to reduce the pregnancy to twins and went ahead and had the reduction done. The fetus that they chose to destroy was the one that was the easiest to get to.

Okay, she's made her decision and has done it. I was still upset, BUT, I've not walked a mile in her shoes, so I should really just let it go....right?

Well, you know me....sometimes I just can't let things go. It's been bothering me like crazy for a while.

Last week she had another ultrasound. They found out that one of the babies is a girl, and they think that the other one is also a girl.

(This is when I really got irritated.)

She was COMPLAINING that they were both girls! She wanted one of each! Of course they have no idea what gender the fetus was that they chose to get rid of.

I think she has a lot of nerve to complain about the sex of the babies when she got rid of one.

I also follow a couple other blogs where women are or were pregnant with triplets. Everything has been absolutely fine with the babies. The one who is still pregnant is having NO problems at all and she is almost 6 and a half months pregnant now. So it's very possible to have triplets (or more) and for everything to go fine.

If we worry about the "possibilities" of what "could" happen all the time with everything in our lives, we would be worrying constantly, and never enjoy anything.

I just found it frustrating that a woman chose to eliminate one of her fetuses then has the guts to complain about the sex of what she has left.

It could just be me and my sensitivity to some issues.

If I've offended anyone with this, I apologize, but this is my blog and I like to write about my thoughts and feelings.


Anonymous said...

Seriously, about just hoping everyone is healthy?

Kelly said...

I agree with Christa. They should be happy that they were actually able to get pregnant. I know they went through a lot to do it, but they did it. Most of us don't get to choose what we have. Some people aren't even able to have those treatments done. It's just not an option. Be thankful period.

Anonymous said...

Cindi, I hate to tell you this because you will just get more frustrated but I think those of us who are teachers feel sorry for the two that she is pregnant with. If you have the audacity to complain about the gift of life then nothing will ever satisfy you and I pity the children because they will have a tough life ahead. I thought the word "reduction" interesting, let's just say it... she decided after finally getting pregnant to use the Russian roulette method of abortion. I agree with you this is annoying to hear about people complain about such things. Having had four babies in four years I can't see where three would break the bank :o) Ter