Thursday, October 4, 2007


At some point in my youth (around the age of 10 or 11) I survived a life-changing event. It was wicked for a short while, but I quickly adjusted and have gotten by just fine in the subsequent years.

I used to spend a couple of weeks with my aunt and grandma every summer, right after school was out. This isn't my italian grandmother, but my other one. She and my aunt (my dad's sister) lived together, along with my aunt's daughter, my cousin Lynne. Three women of three different generations, all living together. It really was fun when I'd go to visit. My aunt had a beauty shop in her house and I just LOVED going there and seeing her customers. I liked them and they liked me.

My aunt's customers would always bring things for could be fresh tomatoes from their garden, strawberries right from the local patch, various baked goods, and things like that. My aunt was very appreciative of those gifts. Her customers were great people, for the most part. There were always a few that could never be pleased, yet they continued to return to the shop, week after week, year after year.

This particular "vacation" that I spent there was pretty much uneventful UNTIL a customer brought my aunt and grandma a box of penny candy. It was a big box and it was FULL! My aunt always encouraged me to do whatever I wanted while I was there, so it was no big surprise when my aunt told me to have as much of the candy as I wanted, and besides, she and my grandma didn't care for candy all that much.

For some reason I was drawn to the grape bubblegum. was SOOOOOOOOOOO good!

I chewed a piece of it, and within about 10 minutes, it had lost its flavor. So I did what any normal kid would do. I put in another piece. And another. And another. After about 20 pieces of grape gum, I realized that I didn't feel very well. My stomach began churning....a LOT. I thought it would probably be best if I hung out in the bathroom for a while. I'll never forget just sitting on the tile floor in the bathroom, waiting for the inevitable.

Prior to this event, I had probably thrown up about 3 or 4 times in my entire life. Throwing up is not something I do very often. However, I was soon to make up for lost time.

I began to heave violently. Over and over. I was absolutely miserable. As soon as I finished and caught my breath, it would start again. I spent about an hour throwing up the taste of grape gum.

It doesn't taste good coming back up.

That was the LAST time I ate anything grape flavored. I don't eat grape lifesavors. I don't eat grape jelly beans. I don't eat grape Smarties. I definitely don't chew grape bubblegum.

However, the weird thing is that I will eat green grapes. I won't eat purple grapes though. And the thought of drinking grape juice makes me cringe.

And that, my friends, is why I avoid grape anything.