Friendships

I'm the first one to admit that I have a very difficult time letting go of a friendship. I've had some friends for several decades, and yet some others are only a few years old. I'm not a person who can be friends with a whole bunch of people at the same time. I was never comfortable with the big "group" friendship thing. I would never be part of a group of say 4 or 5 couples who vacationed together. That's just not my style. It works for many, but not for me.

Fortunately, most of my older friendships are with people who understand me, and realize that if I don't call, write, or email them frequently, that doesn't mean that I want the friendship to end. It just means that I think about them, but occasionally have trouble setting aside the time to stay in touch.

One of the most difficult things to do is to realize when it's time to let go of a friendship. It's almost like ending a marriage. I'm in the process of ending a couple of them right now, and it's hard. I mourn for what could have been, for what we had, and what we shared over time. However, I know when it's time to move on, and what hurts the most, is that I also realize when I've been used.

Ouch.

I thought my personality was enough to sustain a friendship. However, I now know that's not the case. Even though we've had a lot in common and could laugh and tease, the brick wall stares me right in the face.

For every friendship lost, though, there is another one to be nurtured, when least expected.

My best friend is my husband...I wonder how many other people feel that way? He has seen me at my worst, my best, and everywhere in between. We got married young and matured and grew up together. This is definitely one friendship that will last a lifetime, and for that I am extremely grateful.