Getting Ready For a Convention, A Man's Version

Ted is leaving early Thursday morning for a work related convention. He will need to wear "decent" clothes, such as real pants and real shirts, NOT jeans or a pocket t-shirt! He will also need to wear his SUIT for a special banquet. He'll be home late Saturday afternoon.

For a fair amount of men, this would probably not be a challenge, but for my husband, it is.

It took some pressure on my part for him to start to get ready this past weekend. First of all, his suit has needed cleaned since he last wore it. And when was that, you may be asking? LAST YEAR'S CONVENTION. So I reminded him several times to get his suit out.

Secondly, since he rarely wears nice shirts, he doesn't pay any attention to the ones that he has until the last minute. He began digging around in his closet and commented that he thought he found one. I told him that was great, but he needed THREE. He eventually found some wrinkled things wrapped around a hanger and jammed into a corner of his closet.

Thirdly, since he has quit smoking he's put on a few pounds. He can get his dress pants on, but they're pretty tight. Since he has to be in the pants all day, he needs to be comfortable. Therefore, a trip to the big and tall department at Penneys would be in order.

Fourthly, there's the matter of dark socks. Alex tends to think that most things in the house are community property, so the six pairs of dark socks that Ted bought a few months ago have dwindled to ONE pair, with the rest of them hiding somewhere in the abyss of Alex's bedroom.

Fifthly, he couldn't find his white dress shirt. Anywhere. Or his tie. "When did you last wear your white shirt and tie?"

"At last year's convention. I hate going to these things."

"Hmmm...could you possibly have left them at the hotel?"

"That's what I'm wondering too. I told you, I hate these things."

"Yes, dear, I know you don't like going to these conventions, but you HAVE to go to get your hours to get your contractor's license renewed for another year. And besides, the boss is paying for everything, so at least you're not going to be out anything financially."

"I know, but I still don't like it."

Oh yes, and then there's the SIXTH thing. I do not iron very well. It can take me 45 minutes to iron ONE shirt. My mother, on the other hand, can iron extremely well. And besides, she offered to iron his shirts for the convention. Since she was kind enough to offer, I certainly didn't want to give her the shirts at the last minute.

Maybe men just don't think ahead.

If I hadn't put the pressure on, Ted would have waited until tomorrow night to get his things out. But I knew that it was going to be a NIGHTMARE if that happened.

So Sunday night we discovered that the suit still needed cleaned, the dress shirt was missing, the pants were too tight, and the socks were in hiding.

Alex was sent into his abyss to find socks. After only 5 minutes, he returned with 2 pair.

Fortunately we an assortment of ties around here, so at least that wasn't a problem.

The plan for Monday was to take the suit to the cleaners, go to Penneys and get another white dress shirt, two pairs of dress pants (he can wear jeans on Saturday), then drop off the new pants, the new shirt, and the shirts he already had at my mom's so she could iron them.

Tomorrow he has to pick up his suit at the cleaners and the other clothes at my mom's. I'll get all that stuff in the garment bag so they don't get wrinkled and the rest of his stuff is packed. It's amazing how much space two pairs of size 14 shoes can take up in a suitcase!

Anyway, hopefully he'll make it out of here in one piece on Thursday morning. In the past I've had to make sure that certain shirts are on the same hanger as certain pants, because he has admitted that he knows ZERO, NADA, ZILCH about matching clothes together to make an outfit that won't make you squint your eyes and say, "WHAT?!?!"

I may do that again for him. Anything to help.

But the worst part of him going to the convention is that I'll miss him. A lot.